After a less than idea birth experience with my daughter, I
knew I wanted more for my son. Clara’s
birth wasn't necessarily traumatic, but it was full of interventions I didn't
want, and didn't exactly need. I ended
up with PPD, and had a very difficult time enjoying my maternity leave, as I
was constantly anxious and had trouble recovering.
Soon after I got pregnant with Baby #2, I began to research
birth centers and midwives in the Milwaukee area. There weren't many options. I knew I did not want to birth at the same
hospital that I did before, and to move meant finding a new OB (there were no
in-hospital midwives in my area), or forgoing the hospital altogether in favor
of a birth center, which didn’t really make me comfortable.
It turns out this search wasn't even necessary, because
right after my 20 week ultrasound (it’s a boy!), our family moved across the
country for Paul’s dream job in Richmond.
I did tons and tons of research on hospitals in the area, with the help
of a data-oriented friend. I discovered two
hospitals with very low c-section rates (an indicator of a hospital that is
evidence based and natural birth friendly).
Reviews from the 2 friends I had in the area told me to go to one, my
gut told me to go to the other. As soon
as I arrived in RVA, I toured both hospitals and knew immediately that I needed
to be at VCU (Medical College of Virginia) with their midwife practice.
At my first meeting with one of the midwives, Leslie, I
cried. I was so relieved that she took
the time to listen to me, to all my fears and anxieties about birth. She told me that if I was a patient of the
midwives, I would be committing myself to an un-medicated childbirth, barring
any serious complications. She gave me
some great books to read, and assured me that I would have a chance to fully
discuss my birth plan as the time grew closer.
The part that really assured me was when it came time to measure my
belly and listen for the heart rate, Leslie asked permission to touch me. That little step told me so much about the
care I was to receive.
By the time I was 36 weeks pregnant, I was totally ready to
give birth. I was confident, I was knowledgeable,
and I was huge. I was so ready to meet
this baby. At a previous appointment,
Midwife Amber told me it was time to stop reading books about the birth process
and technical details, and just relax.
Got it. I received an amazing
mandala coloring book for Christmas along with a set of sharpies, so I spent
any free time I had coloring in fine details with colors that relaxed my mind
and body.
I should add at this point that I was part of VCU’s
volunteer doula program. I had two
student nurses who were working toward their doula certification who would be
on call to attend my birth. Stephenia
and Tammie were so kind and gentle and caring, and were truly excited to walk
with me in childbirth. As my story digs
deeper into the actual labor, I’ll include their voices, which weren’t clouded
by the hormones of birth.
Early Monday morning, January 12, I was awoken by some
discomfort in my back and belly. I had
been having Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks now, but when these kept me
awake and began coming more frequently, I decided to get out of bed and start
timing them. I also figured this would
be a good time to write out a list of instructions for my mother in law, who
would be taking care of Clara when we went to the hospital. Since I was only 37 weeks pregnant, I didn’t
have any of this ready. And of course I
didn’t have a bag packed. Or a crib set
up. Or anything, really, since we had
just moved into our house, Paul had been working crazy hours, and I was too
grossly pregnant to unpack much on my own.
Around 4 or 5am I woke Paul up to tell him I was most likely
in labor. He asked if he could go back
to sleep until I was sure. I knew that a
well-rested husband would be key in helping me deal with active labor, so of
course I agreed. I was texting with my
two besties, Annette and Heather, this whole time, so I had all the moral
support I needed. By the time Clara woke
up, I was pretty sure this was real labor, so I called the midwife on-call at
the hospital. Brenda told me that it
could be prodromal labor, since I was a little early, and that if I hadn’t
progressed by evening I should have a glass of wine and go to bed. I was ecstatic about that! However, it wasn’t to be. Paul had gone in to work to wrap a few things
up, and in that 2 hours, labor really got moving. Clara was mostly left to her own devices
(playdough) while I alternated coloring and leaning on the birth ball into
stronger but still manageable contractions.
I texted Paul to let him know that he shouldn’t dawdle, and also that he
should bring lunch.
We were supposed to attend our nephew Bruce’s 3rd
birthday that day. It ended up that
Clara got to attend, while Paul and I headed to the hospital to deliver her
baby brother! By the time we took her to
my sister-in-law’s house, I was waddling quite a bit more than usual, baby was
waaaay down in my belly, and my MIL seemed terrified that I would give birth
right there. I was just focused on not
going to the hospital too early like the last time! It was really hard to say goodbye to my baby
girl, but she didn’t care one lick! She
was off playing with her cousin.
So, 4pm, I managed to pose for a photo at the entrance to
Labor and Delivery. My contractions
slowed down a bit during paperwork, but I expected that. Brenda was still there, and she assured me
that they would start up again soon. My
doulas were finishing up a class, and would be there as soon as they
could. When Brenda finally checked my
cervix (after waiting until I was ready), I was at 4 or 5 cm, definitely in
active labor. I was told I couldn’t get
in the tub until 6 cm, but that I was welcome to use the shower. Right now, the most uncomfortable part of the
experience was the IV in my hand. After
about an hour I begged for it to be taken out, because it was keeping me from
relaxing. I sent Paul to get some food
for himself while I sat on the birth ball in the shower, blissfully alone. I managed to direct the hot water just on my
lower back, while I stuck the upper half of me out of the shower to text with
Annette and Heather some more.
We entered the dimly lit room, which
smelled like a blend of essential oils. The room smelled like an absolute spa.
Paul was sitting by the bedside as Jessica was finishing in the warm shower. At
this point, she was 5 centimeters along, and the contractions were increasing
in strength and frequency. Jessica emerged from the shower and walked over to
greet us. She got a contraction as she leaned over the counter, and Paul
dutifully walked over to provide her with counter pressure on her hips and
encouraging words like “Breathe”, “Relax”, and “Match my voice.” This was my first time watching them
interact, and together they, as a team, help bring this baby in the world. I
broke into a wide smile as I saw this man love his wife and engage in the
labor.
At one point, the nurse joined me in the shower with the
portable fetal monitor. Everything
sounded good, and it seemed to be time to exit the shower for another cervical
check. Brenda had left, and Midwife
Kathryn had taken over. I heard her
starting the water in the tub, which I knew was a good sign. My doulas had also arrived and we were
chatting through contractions, which were getting much stronger and closer
together. I was getting really tired,
and wanted to lay down for awhile. The
nurse needed to do an official 2 minute fetal monitoring before I got in the
tub, so laying down wasn’t a terrible idea.
My favorite memory of this really hazy time is lying in bed on my side,
with Tammie rubbing my legs with heavenly smelling lotion, Stephenia putting
pressure on my back with a hot rice pack, and Paul pressing my hips with his
big strong hands. Seriously, everyone
should have 3 birth assistants. It was
amazing.
Tammie and I (Stephenia, doulas) arrived at the hospital around
5:45 pm just an hour or two after Jessica had. When we walked into the room I
remember how relaxed and peaceful it felt with the smells of essential oils,
bible verses sitting on the side table with drinks out for Jessica, the
birthing ball sitting out and the room nice and orderly. Jessica seemed at peace and ready to have her
baby.
After the 20 minute monitoring, they did another check, and
I was deemed ready to get in the tub. I
had mixed feelings about the labor tub.
At this point, it was really difficult to change positions. So the act of walking to the tub and climbing
in was quite uncomfortable. But once I
was in the hot water and buoyancy felt so good.
I was really able to relax between contractions. BUT, it was difficult to get in a comfortable
position on my knees during contractions, which were getting MUCH more
intense. I sent Paul off again to get a
soda, since we all figured I would be in the tub for awhile. Nope.
After a few extremely intense contractions, during which Stephania and
Kathryn were urging me to lower the pitch of my moans to make them more
productive, and I was resisting and screaming instead, I felt a huge gush of
water, and my contractions instantly went from really uncomfortable to OH MY
GOSH THE PAIN IT HURTS SO BAD!! I immediately started to unravel. It was during transition with Clara that I
ended up getting an epidural because I just couldn’t progress, so I was sure
this phase was going to last forever. I
started to get really discouraged, but my midwife and doulas just kept urging
me on and telling me how wonderfully I was doing. Paul came back during all this and was
shocked, since he wasn’t gone for long and I had completely changed
demeanors.
One of the most beautiful things of the whole birth was
seeing Jessica and her husband’s connection throughout labor. Paul was an
amazing support to Jessica as he moaned with her during contractions and
encouraged her. He would often say during a contraction “match the sound of my
voice.”
Kathryn told me it was time to get out of the tub, since the
baby would be coming soon. I didn’t
really believe her, and didn’t want to get out of the tub, but she told me I
wasn’t allowed to have the baby in the tub.
Every single movement hurt. I
tried using a birthing stool, and couldn’t relax or get enough leverage to
push. All I really wanted to do was lie
down, but in my mind lying in med was completely contradictory to natural
birth. But I did it anyway because I couldn’t
support my own weight. Once in bed, I
still couldn’t push effectively, because everyone wanted me to curl up and grab
my knees, and I just couldn’t. I felt
completely unable to do anything except scream with the pain. I kept saying that I couldn’t do it, and
crying.
In between pushing, I took a moment
to tell her “You are so close Jessica. He’s almost here. You’re going to have a
baby boy in your arms very soon at the end of this. You have loved him for 9
months, and he is ready to meet you”
One nurse that was in there was really encouraging. I can’t remember what she said, but I think
she was giving me specific directions on how to push, and it helped.
Jessica screamed as she bore down.
Sharon, the night nurse, said to Jessica “Take that pain, Jessica. Pull it from
inside of you and push through it. I know it’s hard, but I also know that you
can do it.” I could see the head of the
baby turtling out, but then it would go back in. She rested between each push,
completely releasing the tension in her muscles. I wiped her hot and sweaty face
and chest with a cold towel. Paul held her hand, stroked her, and told her he
loved her. Steph whispered in her ear “God is with you Jessica”. Gentle
coaching and soothing words turned into commands. “Go! Push! Yes you can!”
Paul, or I, or someone, suggested using the stirrups on the
bed to keep my legs up, since I couldn’t hold them myself. Again, this seemed to go against my “natural”
plan. Looking back, it’s kind of funny,
because even the nurses weren’t totally sure how to get the stirrups up, since
they never use them! But it was a good
move, because I could just leave my legs up instead of trying to curl up and
lay back down every push.
I clearly remember Jessica saying she can’t do this and
looking afraid. Her husband told her she had made it thus far and was doing an
amazing job and that she could do it. I told Jessica to look me in the eyes
then I said “don’t be afraid Jessica, God is with you, you can do this.” All of
us encouraged her to channel all her energy into pushing the baby out. It was
amazing to see the moment on Jessica’s face when she was sure she could do this
and was determined to push baby out. Two pushes later babies head was out and
then another push later and William was on Jessica’s chest. It was a beautiful
sight to see the three of them bonding and to see Jessica’s excitement that she
did it! She delivered little William naturally and the way she had dreamt her
birth should be like.
I’m not totally sure what happened, but after a bit of
really ineffective pushing, and me fearing that I just wouldn’t be able to have
this baby, I decided that to get the pain to go away, I needed to push this
baby out! It was kind of the way I get
motivation towards the end of a really hard run, where I just can’t do it
anymore, but I say, “You can do it, Madsen.
Just keep going.” And I did. I won’t go into too many details of this next
part, but the next thing I knew, I had a squirmy, wet baby on my chest, and he
was covered in vernix, and just simply beautiful and perfect. He started squeaking and making little
noises. Not screaming, just little
sounds that seemed to say, “Hi mama!”
All kinds of stuff was happening at the end of the table, and I was
surprised that the pain hadn’t gone away yet, but I had my baby boy. We had our beautiful Magic Time, where he
crawled to my breast and started feeding like he had been doing it his whole
life. Later, the nurse told me they wish
they had videotaped that, because it was a great example of what the Magic Hour
should look like.
Finally, with one
strong, silent push and all the determination in her eye, Jessica pushed
William into the world. Catherine guided him out and immediately laid him on
Jessica’s chest. Jessica held her baby and kept him warm as she and Paul
greeted him into the world. Catherine waited until the cord has stopped pulsing
to cut it. William bonded with his mother as he found his way to her breasts.
Jessica and Paul rejoiced in their newborn son and their love. Paul told
Jessica, “I knew you could do it, there’s nothing you can’t do that you put
your mind to.” They announced his name as William Jeffrey Madsen, and laughed
over what the correct
spelling of “Jeffrey” was. I was so honored to witness that beautiful moment of
love in this family’s life. I hope that Jessica felt empowered and strong that
day, and I wish the Madsen family and their new addition all the best!
After a little bit, little William started to scream, peed
on me, and started turning blue. Super
scary! They rushed him over to the
incubator and took all his vitals, and he was fine. We think he probably just got too smooshed
into my breast while he was eating and couldn’t breathe. After that I made sure his nose was always
clear during nursing!
After William got weighed and measured (7lb 4oz), and I got
cleaned up a little bit, we got to spend another 2 hours just relaxing in bed
and enjoying our new little family. Paul
got some skin to skin time, I got a sandwich, and then William got lots more
milk! We then got wheeled to our
postpartum room, where we were delighted to discover a REAL extra bed for Paul
to sleep on, instead of just a recliner or futon.
Here’s what I loved about our postpartum time at VCU:
- · The nurses were extremely attentive. A nurse accompanied me to the bathroom every
single time for about 12 hours, because I was light headed. I felt very cared for.
- ·
William slept like a champ in his bassinet the
first night! It was so refreshing to
actually be able to sleep after giving birth, which didn't happen the last
time. I credit the lack of medication in
his system.
- ·
My physical recovery was very quick. I only had a 1st degree tear, and
felt ready to be up and active by the next day.
- ·
Food was actually pretty good!
- ·
William never left my room for any reason. All tests were done right in the room. He was bathed when I was ready, not when
someone else told me it was time.
- ·
I got great breastfeeding support when I needed
it, from nurses, midwife, and Lactation consultant.
- ·
I didn't get yelled at when, after not sleeping
well on Night #2, I brought William into my bed and we both got to sleep. I was so used to the militant anti-cosleeping
movement in Milwaukee, that it was refreshing when I could parent the way I
knew was best.
- ·
No visitors.
I know some people love having visitors in the hospital, but I do
not. Too much pressure. I loved that it was just quiet alone time for
Paul, William and me.
To wrap up, say what you will about natural birth being
unnecessary in this day and age, or how much you loved your epidural. I am so so happy that I was able to achieve
an un-medicated childbirth in a peaceful, gentle environment. William Jeffrey is an extremely laid back
baby who generally sleeps very well and is usually happy and smiling. My physical recovery was very quick, and my emotional
recover as well. Thank you, midwives, doulas,
and nursing staff of VCU/Medical College of Virginia!