Dear Children’s Book of the Month Club,
I just received in the mail a bill for $25.98, and a letter from your billing supervisor, Mr. Stephen Moore, asking me to protect my account status by paying this bill. As far as I know, I have never had an account to protect with Children’s Book of the Month Club. Certainly you have sent me hundreds of catalogs offering me 10 free books if only I agree to three years of inconvenience, so I wonder if you consider possession of those catalogs a membership to your Club? I have never requested any books or product from your company, so any product that you may be billing me for is entirely a mistake.
Thank you, but I do not wish to protect an account status that I do not even hold, so please remove this bill from your records, and cancel any membership that you have imagined in my name.